Dealing with Trust Issues

Nehemiah Writes, Personal Observations

After having a long conversation with some people for the past few months concerning their relationships, I deem this piece writable in order to guide and help you deal with trust issues.

Know that, feeling insecure can lead to trust issues, so build your self-esteem and do things that you enjoy on your own. If you struggle to trust your partner due to past hurts, consider getting therapy and working through these problems.

1. Know yourself: Know what you want and what you don’t want. Write them down. Be clear with yourself before you can deal with “toxic” people.

2. Think before you respond: What have been your response or reactions, when you call or text someone and the person refuses to return your call within expected time? Don’t just conclude negatively! Think through first before you pass a judgment!

3. Don’t expect too much: Expectations is the root of disappointment. Never expect someone “to do, to be, to how or whatever of something.” Don’t build expectations without grounds and expect the other person to know what’s in your mind; and when they don’t- we get disappointed.

4. Fix “YOU” before you fix others: How can you fix someone else if you haven’t fixed yourself?

5. Forgive and Heal: Before you can trust yourself and extend it to someone, you must first forgive yourself. Don’t stay in the past and also remember that, nobody can control you, but you can control everything in your life—so whatever goes into your mind and heart can never be taken away from you.

6. You are better than Yesterday: Know that, you are not a victim of yesterday. Yesterday just taught you a lesson. Everyday is a new day, so don’t look at your yesterday. Create and develop something new.

7. Date yourself: You can’t date someone if you don’t know how to love yourself. Self improvement is very important. First know yourself thus, “who you are, what you want, how to take yourself out etc.” Find yourself before you find yourself a serious partner. Have a vision; have a focus direction of life you want. If you date yourself, you can trust again.

8. Do the work!: This is my favorite and the most important thing of all. If you have taken anything from what you’ve read from 1-7, then, do work on it! Don’t procrastinate in gratification, Don’t procrastinate with laziness, Don’t procrastinate with expectations and Don’t procrastinate with the understanding that you think it is supposed to be done tomorrow. Understand that, it takes time. Sometimes, it takes years, months and sometimes too we want instant gratification. Instant gratification has taken up so much in our lives which comes into our minds instead of playing on our brains, so we think it’s a fact of every relationship and this is where it becomes challenging.

I honor you, if you are able to take the time and space and understand that, I’ve got to clear myself with who I am, rebuild myself so I can trust again and overcome my trust issues.” You have to understand that, it takes work. I implore you to put in that work to bring the best outcome that is supposed to be in your footprint. Salute!